Today's Meandering

Okay, here I am, sitting in the "computer room" and wondering why the hell it's so hard for me to write. Oh, most certainly I have all the usual excuses available, plus a couple that most people (writers/writer-wannabes) don't, which are both medical and mental. But, then I begin to wonder why I let these things begin to rule over me. My wife is my best fan and best critic (she is wonderful with her "red pen"!), but she doesn't "push" me into doing something that she thinks I just don't want to do at that moment.

Okay, had to take a break to see what was screwing up my sister(adopted)'s computer. Just did a restart and now it's running Spybot to see if (what, actually) is eating it. Heh.

Anyway, back to my rant/ramble/meandering.

I have been sitting at this computer for at least 4 hours and all I have done is read e-mail and read blogs. Granted, the blogs are "required reading" but they should not be the only reason I am on this silly machine. I admit that I enjoy plugging in new programs and making them do what I want them to do, but I still want to write. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear all those other "writers" telling me to "just write". That's the problem, I can't. Won't. Whatever.

When the "muse" hits me, I am rarely in a position to do much about it. Example: I begin to have the idea for a new bestseller just before I fall asleep. Now, sleep is such a prized thing with me, that I will refuse to stop the process, mainly for fear of not being able to start it up again in a reasonable amount of time. Then, I get up in the morning and do you think that that story idea is anywhere to be found? Nope, not usually. If it does, it is either not what I thought it was or it just sounds plain stupid in the light of day.

Hell, I just noticed that most of this really is meandering, but I figure, what the hell, if Stephen King can do it I sure as hell can!

I think I'll leave it at that, for now.